New York Mag's Dossier on Prince Harry

Prince Harry's trip to the United States yesterday did not contain events like attending birthday parties dressed as a Nazi, nor snorting shots of vodka with his blokes as they suction-cup wine glasses to their nipples on his itinerary.

Instead, Harry visited wounded soldiers at Walter Reed and witnessed the destruction left by Hurricane Sandy in New Jersey. The prince even managed to find time to squeeze in a game of polo in Greenwich, Connecticut.

Tell us Big H, where did the fun, partying playboy go?

New York magazine's Ashley Collman presents a dossier of Harry's past tomfoolery in the May 13 issue that contains extensive research.

Aside from general information like date of birth, age and education, Collman creates a track record of Harry's mishaps.

Everything from swallowing a live goldfish at the wedding of a former nanny to losing a game of strip billiards in Las Vegas, Harry has done it all.

This again begs the question, "What happened to Harry?" Did the military really straighten him out?

Doubtful, considering Harry got called out for comparing his gunner job to playing video games. Could this be the reason for his army buddies dubbing him "Bullet Magnet?" One could only assume.

What makes the article great, however, is the diagram showing all of Harry's rumored female acquaintances. New York mag even divides the diagram based on social class: socialite, commoners and minor celebrities. Most intriguing is that Pippa Middleton traded flirty texts back and forth with her brother-in-law. Now that is saucy.

We shouldn't be so critical of the 28-year-old prince. After all, who wouldn't love to record the voice-mail greeting of Queen Elizabeth with your older brother?

“Wassup, this is Liz. Sorry I’m away from the throne. For a hotline to Philip, press one …”

Twerk Hard, Play Hard

Get those clever puns ready, writers. Spin has the perfect article that "twerks" for you!

A group of 33 high school students were suspended for a week after twerking during sixth period at Scripps Ranch High School in San Diego.

Twerking has become a popularized dance move in which—well, why bother defining it since the picture above explains it all (and yes, Uggs are a must).

The "SRHS Twerk Team 2013" used school equipment to film the impromptu video on campus and uploaded it on YouTube. Miley Cyrus would be proud.

When something like this happens we thank those responsible. Spin's Chris Martins thoroughly probed Twitter and found some musician's reactions to the incident.

"@diplo #expelyourself," tweeted the DJ and producer Diplo, whose record label Mad Decent produced Baauer's "Harlem Shake." Oh the irony.

Here are some other aspects of the video to consider:

• What is the purpose of the guys in the video other than looking like they're posing for a 2 Live Crew album cover?
• Are those sports jerseys or did these kids really have Twerk Team shirts custom made?
• Why do the girls in the beginning of the video sound like a slow-motion video of a Mike Tyson knockout?

The students are in jeopardy of being banned from prom and the Class of 2013 graduation ceremony. I think things will "twerk" out for them in the end though. God, that's fun.

Record Store Day 2013's Tragic Success

Photo by Jolie Ruben.

The sixth annual Record Store Day took place last Saturday on April 20 and experienced its most successful year yet.

Vinyl record sales in the United States during the week of Record Store Day reached 244,000, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Sales increased 36 percent from last year's event.

Each year, exclusive releases are made available for purchase in participating record stores across the U.S. Some of this year's artists included Flaming Lips, White Stripes and Notorious B.I.G.

Spin sent out photographers to independent record shops in Los Angeles, New York and Chicago to capture the turnout, but what they uncovered something else—the fallout of one of New York's most famous record stores.

Kory Grow's article following the finals days of Bleecker Bob's is amazing from start to finish. If you love vinyl records, reading the article is like watching a loved one die on their deathbed.

Grow begins his article with an incredible lede anecdote:

"The aromas of must and dust were what stuck with you when you exited Bleecker Bob's Golden Oldies Record Shop, the dumpy yet iconic LP store in New York City's mercurial post-boho Greenwich Village. The scents wafted out the door, where they lingered in that no-man's-land between Ben's Pizza and Village Psychic. The collected fetor of decades-old cardboard, vinyl, and plastic all comingling, the whiff of oldies begging to be rediscovered."

Bleecker Bob's holds more history than just being your typical attempt of reviving record collecting as a trend. Fred Armisen filmed his Saturday Night Live intro of him flipping through Sex Pistols and Style Council LPs. Joey Ramone showcased the shop as a part of New York magazine's 1994 "Where to Find It" issue. Hell, even Robert Plant and Jimmy Page visited the shop.

Jimmy Page and Robert Plant at Bleecker Bob's. Photo by Bleecker Bob's.

The most insulting part of the story, however, is that Bob's is being shut down to make way for a frozen yogurt joint—as if New York doesn't have enough of those.

The story of Bleecker Bob's is typical of any small business in Greenwich Village. Frozen yogurt is in; record collecting is out.

Chris Jones Reflects on Ebert Feature

Esquire's Chris Jones looks back at his experience writing a feature about legendary film critic Roger Ebert, which appeared in the "Essentials" issue of Esquire in March 2010.

Jones' blog post contains honesty and straight-forwardness, giving readers access to several Post-It Notes that Ebert, due to his inability to speak, scribbled to Jones during their many conversations.

Ebert underwent surgery for his thyroid cancer in 2006 where doctors removed a large portion of his lower jaw, resulting in both the loss of Ebert's ability to speak, eat and drink.

In the opening paragraph of his blog post, Jones explains what he learned through Ebert: taking for granted what many consider small trivial things like making phone calls and the ability to drink a beer.

Fearing what Ebert may think of his blog post if he were still alive, Jones explains, "I’m terrified that he’s reading this somehow and will send me an email telling me how much he hated it. So rather than f**k this up and trip all over myself trying to find the right words, I’ll let Roger do the talking."

A Post-It Note written by Ebert to Jones

Jones' quote is ironic. How can Ebert do the talking if he can't speak? One of Ebert's Post-It Notes (pictured above) demonstrates the power of writing and the importance of written communication.

Up until his death on April 4, 2013, Ebert continued to write reviews for the Chicago-Sun Times with the same journalistic prowess he had possessed for 46 years with the newspaper. Ebert's last review was for "The Host," based on the Stephanie Meyer novel of the same title. He gave the film two and a half out of five stars.

Gone but never forgotten, Roger Ebert will forever be the epitome of film reviews and critiques. Ebert's writing made readers feel as if he was an ordinary guy sitting next to them at the theater.

Remember, please be quiet and courteous to others, and silence your cell phones now. Enjoy the movie.

I Beliebe You're in Big Trouble, Justin...

Beliebers worldwide should be terrified for the 19-year-old J-Biebs' future. On March 26 reports released by the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department say officials are investigating a confrontation that occurred between the pop sensation and a neighbor in Calabasas, as reported by Spin.

According to TMZ and multiple neighbors in the gated community, Bieber had his Ferrari delivered to his mansion via flatbed truck and took the car for a joyride, reaching speeds up to 100 mph in the small gated community.

The offended neighbor and father of three went over to Justin's house and complained about the singer's reckless driving. The man says that his wife had been walking the dog that morning and children were playing in the neighborhood because of spring break.

According to the neighbor that confronted Bieber and witnesses in the neighborhood, the teen idol spit at the 47-year-old man and threatened to kill him, allegedly yelling, "I'm gonna f***ing kill you!"

The man intends to press charges.

The Spin write-up of the incident done by Chris Martins compares Bieber to a stubborn, spitting llama. Yes, the one seen here:

Justin Bieber, who was once portrayed as a role model for Disney-watching, prepubescent teens, is now among the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen and pretty much every rapper out there.

With photos surfacing on the Internet of the Biebs smoking weed, his previous physical confrontation with a paparazzo and his rapper buddy Lil Twist throwing "Project X"-like parties at his mansion, how could a teenager view this kid as a role model?

Bieber took to Instagram to defend himself against the media saying that he needs rehab. In the long, arrogant, self-centered rant, he said:

"Anyone believes i need rehab thats their own stupidity lol I'm 19 with 5 number one albums, 19 and I've seen the whole world. 19 and I've accomplished more than I could've ever dreamed of, i'm 19 and it must be scary to some people to think that this is just the beginning."

The beginning of what though? Success? A rise-and-fall career? Only Justin's own actions and lifestyle can provide that answer.

Lil Wayne Reaches Terminal Velocity

During the 16th century, Galileo Galilei dropped two balls from the Leaning Tower of Pisa, concluding that an object dropped from a significant height will reach terminal velocity when drag pushes up on the body balances the weight pulling the body down. Lil Wayne's career has reached terminal velocity.

With his tenth album to be released on March 26 titled "I Am Not a Human Being II," Spin takes a look at the upcoming album, which features appearances by Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, Drake and others.

The content of IANAHBII seems to be filled with nothing but references to sexual acts performed on the female anatomy by listening to the YouTube video compiling snippets of each track. Weezy refers to the female genitalia just as many times as a gynecologist.

Lil Wayne recently disgraced the African American community when he disgustingly referenced the beating of Emmett Till in a remix of Future's "Karate Chop." I won't repeat the line, but for anyone that is interested you can listen to the song here.

While visiting family in Mississippi, Emmett Till was brutally murdered after he had whistled at a white woman.

Epic Records has since apologized for the disgusting reference and has been trying to remove the unauthorized remix from the Internet, stating:

"We regret the unauthorized remix version of Future's 'Karate Chop,' which was leaked online and contained hurtful lyrics. Out of respect for the legacy of Emmett Till and his family and the support of the Reverend Jesse L. Jackson, Sr. ... we are going through great efforts to take down the unauthorized version."

 Weezy has not been dealt a favorable hand. While working on a music video shoot, he suffered from a seizure and was transported to Cedars-Sinai hospital. Wayne suffered a series of seizure-like episodes back in October.

Though Tunechi might believe that he "ain't got no worries," he is sadly mistaken.

Teach Me How to Thom Yorke

If we have learned anything about Thom Yorke in the past three years, it's that the Radiohead and now Atoms for Peace frontman has a very unique way of dancing.

The humorous NME blog teaches Yorke's moves in Atoms for Peace's "Ingenue" step by step like an 80s Richard Simmons VHS tape. Though that analogy may seem inaccurate to some, the truth is Yorke shares some similarities to Simmons.

Yorke recently said in an interview that he practices yoga for at least an hour each day—no wonder why he can dance into those contorted positions.

Lucy Jones' blog is not only witty but also filled with timely cultural references:

"Screw shuffling, twerking or the Harlem Shake—you've got a whole day to learn some new moves to whip out in the club on Friday night."

However, while analyzing one of Yorke's quirky moves she calls "the lean back," she gives credit to Lloyd Banks for originating the move when, in fact, Fat Joe was the original don of "Lean Back" in 2004. Banks only remixed the song later on.

This is not the first time that Yorke has busted a move. His interpretive dancing was featured in the video for Radiohead's "Lotus Flower" in 2011.

Yorke's unorthodox dancing has also been parodied by Fred Armisen in a Saturday Night Live skit, which features Michael Bublé collaborating with various artists for a Christmas album.

Hosting a house party or going out to the clubs this weekend? Well then "the Thom Yorke" is the perfect dance move to bust out if you're tired of "the shopping cart," "the lawn mower" or the "Weekend at Bernie's" dance.